I like sheep - its me and ewe baby.
We were listening the other day as a group of strident feminists declared that the Women's Liberation Movement in this decade has brought about the demise of the Male Chauvinist Pig. Possibly. We assume they're referring to the amateur, weekend, dilettante Male Chauvinist Pig. Not the all-pro Died-in-the-wool variety. For him the women's movement is a blessing. Look at this way: Before "liberation" if a man wanted "WHAT ALL MEN ARE AFTER," it would take him a good 6 months of courtship, #376.29 worth of candy, flowers, dinners, phone calls, cute little stuffed animals with gushy Hallmark cards in their paws, and lots of fancy talk. Then, once he reached his piggish goal, there was always that "now that we're engaged, dear..." to be dealt with. It was a nightmare out of Women's Circle, McCall's, Redbook, AND Seventeen. With "liberation" our pig is faced with a lot of women who have talked themselves OUT of sentimentality. They hate and suspect romantic trappings... good-bye stuffed animals. They're paranoid about career and financial independence, which means their frantic division of all tabs exactly 50-50 saves the pig a lot of money. They believe in their right to sex, so they're willing to talk freely on the subject and then get right to it. No more coy 6 month waiting period. And then when the pig does slip and say something chauvinistic, all he need do is let his femperson rant for half an hour on the gross inadequacies of men, then look sheepish and explain that he's sorry but he's just a victim of society's training and he needs help. Finally, when he grows bored with things, our pig gets out by extending a firm hánd and saying, "I want us both to grow and continue to respect each other as individuals but I feel in this relationship we're cramping each other and though it's painful, I want to let us part as mature friends." The translation of which is, "I just met this blond even easier than you."
